Meditation#11 Negligences
This weekend has been an incredible roller coaster of
emotions… My mother required a very serious surgery and from afar I felt like I
was holding the world upon my shoulders, longing to let it go like a pendulum,
but without the certainty that if I did I would be able to breathe easier. I
confess I had not even thought about this week’s meditation, but when I saw its
title: Negligences, once again the perfection of the Divine Plan forced me down
on my knees.
Today my mother has not had a good day, she still has not
been able to eat and experienced renal failure, but thanks to the outrage that
my sister rightfully expressed, we found out that a group of five specialists
never had the decency to predict that after the operation the information about
her routine medications would be necessary for her recovery protocol and most
alarmingly, a medication that must not be suspended suddenly was withdrawn with
no regards to the tragic complications that irresponsibility could entail:
summarizing; very costly negligences.
Medical negligences, as dangerous and lethal as the
negligences that we are invited to reflect upon on our meditation for this
week. It takes us back to the time when we were defenseless, and either due to
lack of resources or attention on our caretakers’ part, we felt cold, hunger,
discomfort, loneliness or pain, and perhaps our feelings of deprivation or
insufficiency of might be in fact related to those negligences we experienced
as infants.
The assignment is to forgive those oversights, applying the
balsam of acceptance on those old wounds and using that very same pain in order
to be more understanding with those who experience neglect in their lives,
frequently, more severe and damaging than any we have experienced. Healing
these old bruises and concretely, the feeling of lack, will allow us to reflect
on the blessings provided by our current resources that allow us to fulfill our
needs or conversely, communicate in an effective and clear way when we feel
that our rights, needs or feelings are not being adequately addressed.
Brimming with gratitude I witnessed the situation in which
my sister could be the agent that identified the need for alarm and triggered
the search for a solution. I still am ignorant of the outcome of this unfolding
ordeal in my life, but I hope to learn humility as I relent to depending on
others in order to survive this difficulty, empathy with those who day by day
feel neglected in one way or another and the growing conviction that thanks to
each moment of cold, hunger or pain, we grow in humanity and we learn to feed
from manna that flows from our own heart as we let go and become fully aware
that it is not us who make the world turn, and that it truly does not rest on
our shoulders.
With love and humility,
Lina.
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