Meditation #17 Growing Pains

Meditation # 17 Growing Pains

We left off two weeks ago, with the unfolding of our sexual selves and very befittingly, last week my life was reshuffled in order to help someone dear to my heart and I decided to postpone this writing until I had crossed the bridge over troubled waters, knowing that there had to be something in my experiences that was meant to feed my words. Today, as I read a story about the Giant Sequoias in the new Nat Geo, I recalled my duty, as I read: "Giant Sequoias are gigantic because they are very, very old. They are so old because they have survived all the threats that could have killed them."

Well, so have we, but growing pains truly never seem to go away. I remember reading in disbelief that the "terrible twos" are described by some psychologists as the first adolescence, when a child no longer feels dependent on Mom and Dad and reacts with the need to assert individuality, frequently with tantrums and very audible drama.

And then, there is the very adequately named Adolescence: something hurts deep in the soul, we are not quite children anymore, drowning helplessly within deep thoughts and the surge of hormones and peer pressure that only make matters worse. A lack of a serious sort unnerves mind, body and soul and we can't stand even our own shadow.

But during that stage, there was also an excitement, a curiosity, an unquenchable desire for thrills, adventures, discovery and a vibrant zest for what was yet to unfold in our lives. This is what I recall the most about my teen years and what I want to reclaim today. That glow of the novelty of life, of movement, of taste, of touch, of sight, of aroma. I remember the thrill of going by myself to the movies or taking a bus ride all alone, or with my sister, and deciding consciously that it was not truly a simple Circular Sur journey, it was an adventure, full to the brim with possibility, with people to be met, places to be seen, experiences to be lived, and I remember feeling that I was so lucky to be there, free to drink it all in, eagerly. This same thirst for change inspired me to leave my country, at the ripe old age of 18, all by myself, on a quest to find my destiny, packing fear and doubt in a locket without a key, and soaring high on fresh, strong wings. I stare at my forty-three year old self in the mirror and want to find the Brave Fledgling that hopped off the nest and somehow, managed to catch a warm wind.

Peer with me into the mirror of life and back at your teenage self and refuel from the impetus of young, unrestrained heart and soul, and dare to jump once again into your life, with the vigor and advantages that only experience, wounds and time can provide. If you don't believe me, dare to learn more about the Giant Sequoias, the towering Masters of Survival.

With Love and Zest,

Lina.